Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax

I wish I could just go to the vet

I had a doctor's appointment today for my Depot-Povera shot. The dog had a vet appointment to look at a cyst. Compare and contrast:

Nic: Arrive at office at 1:07 for 1:15 appointment. Receptionist collects copay before I sit down. Sit in waiting room until 1:50. Listen to receptionist field phone calls; people calling today are offered appointments on Feb. 23.

Dog: Arrive at vet at 3:15 for 3:30 appointment. Receptionist greets me by name and asks how the holidays were. A technician grabs our chart and takes us to exam room immediately. Dr. G sticks his head in to say hi even though our appointment is with Dr. T.

Nic: I ask doctor if oral progestin would control cramping and bleeding more consistantly than the shot, since the cramps have become debilitating by the last month of each Depot-Provera cycle. Doctor offers me Seasonale, an estrogen-progestin combination with periods every three months instead of monthly. I try explaining again that the cramping is bad enough that I need to call in sick, and I don't want it even every three month. "Then have a laparoscopy," the doctor says, while cursing at the sharps container she can't open.

Dog: Dr. T arrives just as vet tech has finished history. He remembers, without looking at the chart, the dog's previous cardiac problems. He gives her a complete physical check before examining the cyst. He doesn't think the cyst is anything to worry about, but cautions that it is filling with fluid and may burst "like the biggest, nastiest blackhead you can imagine." Or we can have it surgically removed.

Nic: I ask about laparoscopy details. Doctor heaves a huge annoyed sigh and tells me to come into her office, where she left my chart. She doesn't do surgery but can refer me to someone who will if I have trouble with the cramps again this quarter. She asks how long the cramps last then says "Two days of cramps every three months isn't that big a deal." Receptionist tries to collect my copay again as I check out.

Dog: I prefer surgery option because I am afraid cyst will burst when I'm not home and dog will get infected. Since we are talking anesthesia, I ask about a teeth cleaning; vet checks again and agrees that since she'll be under it is a good time to do that, too. He gets me antibiotics to start tonight and schedules her surgery for tomorrow. Receptionist tells me she'll do my bill then too, no reason to make me wait for it to print.

My vet spayed my rats. I bet he could do my surgery. I wouldn't even chew the stitches.

Posted by Nic at January 5, 2004 02:15 PM | TrackBack