Because my birthday is so close to New Year's I use this time to take stock and nudge myself back on the paths I prefer, as opposed to the paths I've been taking because they require less effort.
I've been lazy, in other words, and when I really think about that, I'm not so happy with myself.
What I'd rather be doing:
At work I need to actually work. I've been disgruntled lately and using that as an excuse to goof off. The boss hasn't caught on...yet...but at the end of the day I'm pretty disgusted with my own lack of productivity. I'd go home feeling better if I'd put in a good day regardless of what's going on around me. So...more mindful concentration on work.
Back to the gym, or at least back to regular workouts at home. My weight bench became another flat surface for accumulated junk, and my knees are letting me know this is not a good idea. The endometriosis flareups may also be worse because I'm not exercising.
Today's Jeanne Marie Laskas column had a great summation of what I've been trying to do with my attitude toward others:
Kathy tells me she's happier now than she's been in years. The reason, she says, is her new mantra, which I think is funny, because I don't even have an old mantra. "That person is doing his or her best." Kathy has learned to say this when someone wrongs her, when someone is unkind or steps on her toe, or when a man says he'll call but doesn't. "You can get angry, you can get hurt, you can get vengeful," she says. "Or you can just say: 'That person is doing his best,' and move on."
Along those same lines, I'm continuing my effort to avoid labeling or objectifying people...the customer who doesn't get our web site, the clerk who doesn't get my order, the blogger with whom I disagree. Instead of just faking courtesy I will try to remember that I'm not dealing with an idiot, a dolt, or a jerk, but a person who deserves respect.
And while trying to act properly toward strangers, I'll try to be more mindful of how I act toward my closest friends and family. Too often I have given them my worst instead of my best, because they know and will forgive me. I'd rather give them my best.
Mindfulness is the key to all of it, I think. I stop being mindful, I quickly slip back to an easy, half-assed, self-centered indifference.
There was one other thing...oh yeah. Stop wasting so much time on the computer.
Posted by Nic at January 4, 2004 05:54 PM | TrackBack