About ten years ago, I was doing "watchful waiting" for a lump in my left breast. It turned out to be nothing, just a cyst that never came back. I don't remember being consumed by fear over it, but then I was also juggling getting divorced and laid off. It was a busy time.
In contrast, I'm having a hard time keeping my mind off the thyroid thing. I have a bad PubMed habit, and I've found a few papers that suggest the malignancy rate of solid nodules greater than 3 or 4 cm is in the 24-26% range. That still means the chance of this nodule being benign is 3 in 4.
Probably, I'll get a cool scar, a week off work, and perhaps a need to take thyroid hormone for the rest of my life. It's a cheap generic drug; big deal.
I went by my parents' house on Saturday to pick up some tomatoes, and filled them in on what I know (and what I'm speculating based on what I read in abstracts of medical journal articles). My father said "Are you nervous?"
I said "I'm scared shitless." What's the use in bravado?
Now if everything turns out fine, I'll look silly for being such a basket case, while if I were putting up a brave front, I could look all cool and I-told-you-so when the pathology comes back that I have a harmless adenoma.
Normally on Sunday night, I'm dreading going back to work. Tonight, I'm hoping I have a busy week. I'm hoping my phone rings off the hook and every annoying problem touches off four more issues that demand addressing. I ciuld use the distraction.
Posted by Nic at August 24, 2008 05:42 PM | TrackBackDo you want me to call you tomorrow with all of my concerns about the first day of school? I can do that, if it keeps your mind off of things. I'm generous that way.
Posted by: Karen at August 24, 2008 07:06 PMTomorrow, only wear one shoe to work.
Wednesday is inside-out day.
Thursday, forget your glasses and carry around a huge magnifying glass.
Friday is casual day. Seize the day.
Great delivery. Sound arguments. Keep up the good work.
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