I finally tried the black bean brownies. They actually do taste just like regular brownies. Nutritionally they still aren't exactly health food, but still...half a cup of fat, or a can of black beans?
I still prefer black bean burritos to brownies though, at least most of the time. I never used to get the typical female food cravings, but since the endometriosis kicked into high gear, now I do actually seek chocolate at times. Sunday, actually, I was feeling really lousy, but because it had only been two weeks since my last shot, I knew it wasn't that time. Then at the grocery store I had an uncontrollable urge to buy a German chocolate cake...
Yep, I now know to put more stock in inexplicable cake purchases rather than the calendar. Stupid hormones.
I just started reading Food & Mood, speaking of hormones. I don't know that I'll follow the diet (my diet is actually pretty close to what's in the book, actually, except for the fish), but I'm digging the chemistry. And the chemistry scientifically supports the whole mind-body-connectedness thing.
I picked up another book related to the mind-body thing, too...when I don't crave chocolate, I crave books...Destructive Emotions: A Scientific Dialogue with the Dalai Lama. I've been thinking alot about how destructive my thoughts and emotions can be and I'm trying to train myself away from that mindset, but what a struggle...especially for someone as used to instant gratification as I am. That is, I don't want to struggle with it, I just want to be fixed now. Bam, make me compassionate. I have no patience.
Over the weekend I decided my digital camera is shot. (This is also about my lack of patience, honest.) Every picture I take is blurry; I think I dropped it once too often. I'm coveting a digital SLR (coveting being another vice I oughta be trying to shake, whether in this new philosophy or in my old religion) but I can't justify that expense. I own a couple decent 35mm cameras and several lenses, but film...it takes at least an hour to get my pictures back if I shoot film! No, now that I've gone digital there's no going back. That's what I mean about my instant gratification problem.
I am at least just shopping for the new camera, instead of just buying one an hour after deciding I wanted it. So maybe there is hope.
And here the train of thought derails. I am going to go eat more brownies now...
Posted by Nic at April 6, 2004 09:34 PM | TrackBack