Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax

Karma

There's a book out called Karma 101. I saw a review that said

This guide will help you avoid bad karma, generate good karma, and more. Peppered with engrossing anecdotes and Karmic Do's & Don'ts (Do move a turtle out of the road; Don't drive by and think "bummer to be the turtle"), this fun guide to karmic basics will help you live your best in this life and the next.

That reminds me of a story...

Victor and I were out in the country doing car support for friends on a day-long bike ride. (It was out towards the mountains, too hilly for those of us with bad knees.) Anyway, because we were keeping an eye on the riders we were moving pretty slow, but the occasional other drivers weren't. I spotted a huge turtle ahead in a road barely two lanes wide. I had visions of him being caught under the wheel of an SUV, so I had Victor stop.

The turtle was almost as big as a dinner plate. Of course when I touched him he drew back in his shell, but I picked him up. Victor was stopped right behind, with the hazard flashers on in the car, and he says he heard me say "It's okay sweetie I'll help you OH YOU SONUVABITCH!"

That's probably pretty close to what I said, too. Because when I picked that turtle up, he kept his head and legs in his shell, but he let loose with the most unbelievable stream of urine I've ever seen come out of any animal. I held him out at arms length, but he still soaked my legs, including my socks.

Now, I didn't blame the turtle at all. If I were crossing a street at my normal pace and suddenly some giant hoisted me up, I'd probably piss all over his feet too.

And no, I didn't drop him. That would not have been good karma.

Posted by Nic at December 2, 2003 01:12 PM | TrackBack