Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax

Christmas pun

I upgraded today from "I feel like crap" to "I can't really justify staying home wrapped in fleece yet another day." I had second thoughts when I got to work and saw 14 voicemail messages (four from the same person...and oh, darn, I didn't get a chance to call her back today. Funny how leaving me the same freakin' message every two hours puts you at the bottom of my to-do list!)

Sorry, I got cranky.

Anyway, tomorrow is the office holiday party, which I'm not really thrilled about. There is something disturbingly junior-high-ish about the seat-saving and who gets to eat with the cool kids, and I'm sucky at small talk. But I can't skip it. Last year, when the big big boss made his speech, he managed to mangle a dirty joke and insult several employees by name. It was all anyone talked about until New Years, then it was all anyone talked about when the people who were on vacation came back after New Years. I'm pretty sure the gossip didn't die down until mid-February, and at every big meeting through the year it came up if Mr. Big spoke. People not in attendance would ask "Did Mr. Big tell any jokes?" New hires had to be filled in on the story. Sometimes the insulted parties would be brought in for verification. Around October this year people started whispering about it again...think Mr. Big will give another speech?

That ten, maybe twenty minutes of bad, maybe inebriated, holiday speech lost us more productivity than every natural disaster, political tumoil, and business snafu I've seen in 13 years.

So anyway, I can't skip the party and risk not being there to witness another spectacle.

This is another holiday re-run, but it, unlike the office party, puts me in a jolly mood:

Get it? Get it???

Say it out loud...peas on Earth. Gouda wheel. Two men.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

(I'm on medication now, y'know.)

Posted by Nic at December 16, 2004 05:07 PM