Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax

I don't like spiders and snakes

Actually, I don't mind snakes. I'd never keep one, what with them eating, well, rats, but I think they are fascinating and beautiful.

But spiders...

I know it doesn't make sense. I like big ugly bugs, reptiles, and rodents. Spiders are fascinating, too, and build beautiful, intricate webs that are delicate marvels of engineering. What's not to like?

When I was a small child...nursery school-age...I saw a nature show that showed, in super macro close-up, a spider spinning a web. The narrator with the cultured nature-show voice explained how the spider caught the hapless insect in the web, wrapped it up in the silk, and left it to die, to be eaten later. He made it sound elegant.

Cool stuff. Fascinating. And that night I had the first nightmare I remember, still one of my most vivid dreams. A giant spider had spun a web in our classroom doorway. Despite my frantic attempts, my classmates one by one walked into the web, where the spider wrapped them in the sticky silk, leaving them to die to be eaten later.

Victor loves spiders. In his old condo, he had a spider he considered a pet. I, on the other hand, have been known to upend a bucket over a spider then sit on the bucket for an hour until someone else came home to kill it. (Because if I tried to step on it myself, you know, I might miss and the evil thing might get away, and start building a web in my doorway. Phobias are not build on rational thought, ok?)

I have made huge strides. I got home from work the other day to find a smallish spider hanging in my hallway just about face level. I did not shriek. I did not flee. I picked up a newspaper, folded it around the spider, stepped calmly outside, and flung the whole thing about thirty yards.

Then I went inside and locked the door. And when I had to walk the dog, I left the house through the back...just in case.

Posted by Nic at June 16, 2004 07:17 AM