Shoes, Ships, and Sealing Wax

Don't think and drive

So I'm on my way to work this morning...and while I'm not the type to eat, read the paper, and put on makeup while driving, I do think. This morning I was thinking about work...there's a contractor coming in today, and I am worried about whether I have everything ready for him, if I filled out the purchase order correctly, if I gave him the right directions to the Metro...and the pets...one of the older rats is doing poorly, and one of the babies was acting a little lethargic, and the dog's behavior was a bit off...and the fact that the house needs painting...and all the stuff at work I didn't finish yesterday...and I forgot to buy eggs...

...and next thing I know, I'm in the middle of an intersection where I've just run a red light. Now, I didn't hit anybody or anything...but I totally just ran a red light, which was still pretty bad.

Not an excuse...but the traffic pattern at the intersection recently changed. For almost 12 years I've been making a left turn there pretty much every morning. It used to be that you had a yield-on-green, but now the turn cycle is independent, and when the through lanes get the green, the left turn lane has a red. I guess I was on auto-pilot, and pulled into the intersection to make the left as soon as I had a break in traffic.

Everyone around me just kept going. No crash, no honking, nobody even flipped me off (that I noticed, anyway). No harm, no foul. Except whoa, it did throw me.

I look at this one two levels. One, as a safety professional, for me to perform a potentially hazardous task like driving with so little attention is horrible. I don't know how often I have lectured about this in safety training...always be aware of what you are doing.

Two, in regard to my exploration of philosophies and spirituality...I thought I'd been making some progress with mindfulness, staying present. Maybe I have, at least when I'm down by a lake communing with geese. I wasn't being particulary mindful when I turned through the red light, obviously, and that did occur to me as I sat in the middle of the intersection realizing what I'd done.

The first book about Buddhism I read was Buddhism Plain & Simple, by Steven Hagen. In it he says

When you realize you haven't been mindful, don't scold yourself. There's no need for it--in fact, it gets in your way. It's only necessary that you notice that you were not mindful although, of course, in doing so, you are being mindful.

So I have that, at least. And I have been a model citizen on the road for the rest of the day.

Posted by Nic at April 21, 2004 03:11 PM